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Writer's pictureTraci Minor

A Heart Attack? Really?!?

Do not let your hearts be distressed. John 14:1 (NET)


Distressed. Troubled. Disturbed. 


Whatever translation you are familiar with, it seems to make little difference. This is not the state of being we all long for. Yet, I have to admit, in my thirty-some years of following Jesus, every time I’ve read this scripture, my immediate response has always been, “ooops…too late!”  That train has left the station, Jesus. 


And never before has his next statement ever done me much good: You believe in God; believe also in me.  Sigh. Cue inner dialogue:


Jesus, I do believe. But I guess not enough. I know, I know…If I just had the faith of a mustard seed…if only I believed…enough. If only my faith were stronger. Help me overcome my unbelief! OK, what do I need to do to be stronger in my faith? 


I could go on and on here, the length of this mental chastisement could vary, subject to my mood and conditions on the ground, but I think you get the picture. The truth is, I didn’t even know how to interpret this second sentence. On a good day I might be able to let the peace of Christ wash over me, bringing some temporary relief. But on a bad day it might lead to something more like:


What? I don’t get it. Aren’t Jesus and God the same entity…person…thing…anyways? Why does this have to be soooo cryptic? God, why does life have to be so confusing and difficult all the time? Can’t you see how I long to know you and live for you? Can’t you see how hard I am trying down here?!? These words are not helping!


The truth is, I didn’t know how to not let my heart be distressed. (Nor did I see my own biases about the nature of the Trinity…but more on that later.) And this is no small thing, this not knowing how. Because at some point, your body will show you how. That could be good news for some, those who have learned to listen to the messages their body is sending as helpful warnings, like those lights on the dashboard that flash red when you are low on oil or there is a problem with the engine. 


But for others, who might be a little more disconnected from their bodies, it could mean Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy, a heart condition otherwise known as Broken Heart Syndrome, often brought on by stressful situations or extreme emotions.


Sound specific? Well…ya know…


I have quite a bit of knowledge on the subject, as it was my aha moment. Yep, it was actually 17 months ago that I was rushed to the hospital  (from a church service no less) to the ER, where my troponin levels were found to be 10,000 times higher than they should be. Troponin is something you learn about when you have a heart attack! It would be 24 hours later that the diagnosis would officially come in, but even before it did, I felt the Lord confirm it. 


I knew deep inside that there was no tear or blockage, which are usually the cause of a traditional heart attack. No, in Broken Heart Syndrome, the left ventricle constricts at the top, leaving the lower part looking rounder, like a Japanese pot - thus the name. Think about that for a moment. Stress in the mind actually changes the physical shape of the heart. 


Take. That. In. 


The power of the mind is staggering.


For a couple of years leading up to that day I had been learning about the mind/body connection, and I had found it intriguing. But this moment was my tipping point. This was the beginning of learning to heed the warnings on my dashboard!


What about you, my dear friend? Is anything flashing on your dashboard? 


For your consideration:


How in touch are you with your body? Do a brief body scan right now. How are  your shoulders?  Relaxed? How about your jaw? Clenched? What about your hands, feet, lower back, stomach? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Are you thirsty? Just notice.


Take some deep breaths. This is not a doctor’s interrogation, but a gentle curiosity. No judgment. 


Now, if you are willing, pray…


Lord Jesus Christ, help me to notice whatever is of importance to you. Is there anything you want to communicate to me?


Write down what you hear, sense, or feel.

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