The Latest & the Last

It is October 2024, and I have spent the previous 10 months dwelling almost daily in the Gospel according to John. It has been deeply fulfilling. I’m attributing that to a combination of things. One, after twenty years of planning systematic Bible studies, 6 part sermon series, and other 10 Steps to _____________, it has felt so luxurious to meander through this magnificent writing, as I would the Redwoods of Sequoia, stopping ever so often to take in the wonder, breathe in the clean woody air, and contemplate the magnitude. 

It has also been particularly enjoyable to be on this journey with a few trusty companions - about ten in all. Individually we have plumbed the depths of John using a variety of tools, each to his own liking. N. T. Wright’s John for Everyone, John for Normal People by Jennifer Garcia Bashaw, the Bible Project, and Bema’s 6th season with its verse by verse walk through as well as all the recommended resources there - all of these were great additions. We would spend our weekdays reading, listening, and contemplating, and then gather on Sundays over coffee and the occasional meal to share what we had learned and experienced with one another, gaining new insights from the wide variety of messages each of us had received from the Lord. 

But the word additions is key here, because by far, the most life-changing moments, the most intimate encounters with Jesus, have come from simply soaking in the story itself; reading, meditating, and listening for the personal whispers…these have been my favorite times. It was here that I heard Jesus’ invitation to pour my tears of sadness into those jars that he promised he was going to turn into wine. It was here I was able to hear Jesus’ words of approval for Mary anointing his feet, as if they were meant for me. So personal. So tender. 

We journeyed together like this through the first twelve chapters - what some scholars refer to as the Book of Signs. But there are still nine chapters to go. These nine chapters encompass the final week of Jesus’ life, crucifixion, and resurrection. And embedded in those chapters is the last conversation Jesus had with his disciples. It is ripe with difficult and sometimes poignant teaching, beautiful imagery, and a prayer that challenges my comprehension to the core. I have long shied away from these passages, simply because they felt beyond my understanding. 

Yet, it occurs to me that in the past I have found new comprehension through the process of memorization. Somehow, through slowing down and having to process the way something is written, turning over the grammar, and repeatedly writing and rewriting what I remember, I form a new understanding along the way. Inspired by that thought, and hearing it as an invitation into intimacy with Jesus, I have decided to commit this last conversation to memory. Where it will lead, I do not know. But I want to document the process somehow, so here I am…writing. I have no idea if this will be of any interest to anyone other than myself. But I have been learning lately to simply accept the invitation, not worrying about who else has RSVP’d. 

I invite you to join me on the journey, either through memorizing or simply reading along. I will write my thoughts here and there (maybe weekly? who knows!) and look forward to hearing yours. Of course my lens is slightly curved toward the perspective of motherhood. But even if you are not a mother, you are welcome to come along. And may we all experience a new level of intimacy with Jesus together!